Is there a source for proper Single People Etiquette out there somewhere?  You see, I could have used it this weekend.  An old friend invited me to a Game Night she was hosting.  The get-together was mostly populated by couples, but there were three single people: Me, Other Girl, and Guy.

I spent the first half of the evening chatting with everyone pretty equally.  Guy seemed all right — he was nice enough, funny.  I filed him under the category of “Would Like to Get to Know Better But Probably Not Interested.”

Unfortunately, about halfway through the evening, I noticed two of the Coupled Girls whispering away across the Scene It board.  My friend leaned over and muttered, “They’ve been trying to hook up Guy and Other Girl for a while.”

What I said out loud was, “Ah, gotcha.”  But what I said in my head was, “Well, fuck me,” due to the realization that I’d quickly become the 9th Wheel.  One of my criteria for attending events is “Will there be single people there?” so this came as a bit of a blow.

For the rest of the night, I felt like, if I talked to Guy, even with no intentions other than getting to know him, I might be perceived as a threat to Other Girl by Coupled Girls.  Also, Other Girl seemed to be a genuinely nice person, and, in the case that she was interested in Guy, I didn’t want her to think I was butting into her territory either.  I spent the rest of the time mostly chatting with my friend until I bit the bullet and became the first to bow out for the night.

So, my question is this: What is Single Person Etiquette here?  My fear is that I came across as standoffish and disinterested when really I just felt guilty for taking any attention that others might have felt should be bestowed on someone else.  Should I have said, “To hell with it,” and turned on the (friendly) charm even though I wasn’t romantically interested?  Or was I right to back off even though there didn’t appear to be much of a spark between Other Girl and Guy?

In the dwindling pool of Single People, I imagine the issue of Territory will come into play on a not-so-irregular basis.  And I don’t always want to be the one to back off.  So, some guidelines would sure be helpful.

third-birdImage via Flickr